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  “Ok, I’m driving down… we’re going to lunch, sounds like we need to talk.”

  Shit! I would love to spend time with my dad, but having him face to face, might make me spill some things that I would otherwise want to keep to myself.

  “Okay Dad, I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

  “I love you too. See ya!”

  My dad had always been my knight in shining armor, but the one time I absolutely needed him, I didn’t want him. I didn’t want to have to face the questions, the impending lecture, and the stern warnings. I got dressed, leaving my hair down and damp and headed back out to the living room with Chelsea and Mila. They were watching some reality show, and while I didn’t usually participate in that pointless madness, the laughs that came with such unscrupulous people showcasing their lives on national TV was quite amusing to me. I needed to laugh.

  My phone buzzed next to me, and as my expectations rose, in hopes that Jason was finally contacting me, I was severely let down when I saw a Facebook notification from Jacob.

  From Jacob Bradley

  Well, you should consider coming to Texas soon. My parents will be having their annual charity dinner and dance. I have already showed them your pic, and they are anxious.

  I decide to write a quick response.

  To Jacob Bradley

  Sounds like fun. I will see what I can do.

  Chelsea eyed me tentatively. “Cara, you’re not writing Jason are you?” She asked, her voice full of apprehension.

  I shot her a quick smile and responded with a very deliberate “NO!”

  She looked pleased and left it alone, Mila smiled at me, and continued watching her train wreck TV show.

  I was drained, physically as well as emotionally. I think I'd cried more that day than I had in the past two years, and the next day, I had to face the prosecutor known as my dad. I decided to turn in early because I could feel in my bones that I was going to have a long day tomorrow. Unable to contain the desire to reach out, I typed Jason a quick message, disregarding Chelsea and her warnings.

  To Jason Bradley

  Good Night!

  I plugged my charger into my phone, lay down in my bed, and drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter 7

  I woke up to my nerve rattling alarm at five forty five in the morning, exhausted as ever, after getting virtually no sleep the night before. Jason was looming heavily on my mind, and as I shut off the alarm on my phone, I checked to see if there were any missed calls, texts, or messages from him. Unfortunately, there were none. I opened my Facebook app to check for notifications, but there was no response to my message, and no notifications that he had written to me at all. What happened? Why had he cut off all communication from me?

  I stumbled out of my bed and into the bathroom to see a red eyed Chelsea brushing her teeth. Mila was back in her room, blasting music. Seriously? We had morning workouts, and while I didn’t feel the urge to be pumped up, my emotions were flailing -- I missed Jason. Of course it had been less than 24 hours since I had seen him, but his lack of communication was causing distress that I couldn’t recall ever feeling. I couldn’t remove the images of all of the fun we had this past weekend, and yet, I was faced with the reality that he was ignoring me and possibly wanted nothing more to do with me.

  I quickly dressed, headed to the kitchen to eat a bowl of Greek yogurt and fresh strawberries, and headed out the door. I was quiet the entire ride, leaving Mila to crank up the music in a desperate attempt break me from my funk.

  “Pinks, what the hell is wrong?”

  I looked at her, eyes swelling and burning, and quickly turned away, knowing if I said anything I would burst into tears. Chelsea reached from the back seat and rubbed my head, trying to soothe the ache that was pummeling me from the inside. I didn’t have to say anything; she knew exactly what was wrong.

  I destroyed my workout, and felt rather good about myself afterwards. The built up tension needed a release and the workout provided the necessary avenue for it. We made our way back up to the apartment, showered, and headed off to morning classes. I was in my SSDU Softball warm up suit, my black Chucks, and had my hair thrown up on the top of my head. I took my seat and checked my phone finding my only message had come from my dad, confirming our lunch date today. I took a deep sigh, but decided not to dwell on the fact that I had been discarded like a piece of trash. Classes went by like a blur, and I rushed to my apartment, hopped in my Civic, and headed to Four Point O Deli; a cute little sub sandwich shop near campus. As I pulled up, I saw my dad standing outside, punctual as ever. I glanced at the clock on my radio and saw that I was five minutes late. My dad’s lectures suddenly replayed through my head; If you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late; and if you’re late, you’re toast. Well, looks like for today I was toast.

  I walked up to the entrance, into my dad’s loving arms. He gave me a big sturdy hug, and then he held the door open to the sub shop, and led inside. We took our seats and a waiter took our orders, and I suddenly felt okay. It might have been because I hadn’t been obsessing over my phone all day, but then again, I was sure it was because I was in the company of the one man who had never let me down. My dad would walk through fire for me, and I felt it at that moment.

  “So Cars, how was your weekend?”

  “It was nice dad.” I left it short, hoping to not open the door for too many questions.

  My dad eyed me inquisitively, opened his mouth, but thought twice about whatever he was going to say. I decided that rather than let my dad dictate the conversation, which I was sure of the direction it would be going in, I started asking questions.

  “So, how are you and mom? Ryan says you’re planning a trip to the Bahamas.”

  That sparked my dad’s interest. I could see a sparkle go off in his eyes.

  “Yes! Your mom has wanted to go for a while, so I decided to take the time off to take her over Spring break. All-inclusive -- the works. She’s such a hard working woman; she deserves it.”

  “I completely agree. Where are you staying? Chels says there are some amazing resorts that her family likes to travel to.”

  “The Sandals Royal Bahamian. I spoke to a travel agent and decided on that one. All your mother knows is that we’re going – no other plans. So, I really hope it lives up to everything I’ve been hearing. I want to make this special for her.”

  Suddenly, the tears were making a raucous and unwelcomed return in my eyes. I looked up at my dad, through glossy eyes, and smiled at him. He was my example of what I wanted in a man. I didn’t want to settle for less. He had been the exact illustration of a man who loved his wife with every inch of his being, and I knew that there was someone out there for me. A couple of tears started to stream down my face, and he looked at me with a half anxious smile.

  “Cars. You know I wanted to speak to you since Friday, and now, seeing you like this, I am absolutely sure that our face to face sit down is the right avenue.”

  “I know Dad. I just wanted to try to get through this lunch as joyfully as possible. I see how in love with Mom you are – how you go out of your way for her, and I know that I want that too – someday.”

  “So what’s the deal with Jason? He seems like a nice guy, but I want to hear it from your mouth.”

  My Dad was gazing into my eyes, burning an answer out of me.

  “He is a really nice guy Dad. I have him in class, so we’ve been speaking for a bit, but finally decided to give it a go.” I tried to tell my dad with as straight a face as possible.

  I know I fibbed, and withheld some information, but the truth of the matter was, if I had told him that I had been blowing him off, and we all of a sudden starting seeing each other, the red flags would have gone up and I would never hear the end of it. Come to think of it, those red flags that I felt about him were starting to creep up – his disappearing act was putting them on the forefront.

  “Well, he was pleasant at dinner, and Ryan says you all had a great ti
me at that club the other night – but he also said he has a bit of a temper.” The concern was plastered on his face.

  That sentence sealed my fate. I didn’t know if I was crying because it was true, or because it felt like Ryan had ratted me out. My Dad saw my tears and moved to the seat directly next to me, gently grabbing my head and laying it on his shoulder, allowing me to cry.

  “Cars, I know he’s good looking, and wealthy.” What? How did he know that? “But, the fact of the matter is, you don’t have to deal with a temper. I have never raised my voice to your mother, and I hope no man ever raises his voice to my daughter.”

  “How do you know he’s wealthy?” I asked, wondering exactly how much information Ryan had given away without my knowledge.

  My dad felt the rage I had aimed towards Ryan and tried to smooth it out. He had an uncanny ability to see right through me. “Don’t worry, Ryan didn’t tell me that. I could tell from his truck – it isn’t cheap. And, at dinner, I saw his Black Amex, and I know only certain people have those.” He said with a deep smile. “Furthermore, the fact that he played so coy about what he did before going to school kind of tipped me off.”

  “Jeez Dad. Stalking him just a bit?” Suddenly I was mortified that my Dad was making note of all this. For some strange reason it felt like an invasion.

  He laughed. “Cars, I’m your Dad, and some guy I’ve never met before was all of a sudden enjoying dinner with my family… you’re damn right I was stalking him.”

  I loosened up a bit after that, because in all actuality, he was right, he was just doing his job. Then in a split second, he looked me in the eyes, and did what he’s been doing my entire life.

  “Cars, I don’t want you to think that because Jason has money, that you’re tied to him. We have never raised you to value material possessions over your own morals and values.” I wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with this, but I continued to listen – intently. “I know he and Chelsea don’t get along all that great, and as your best friend, she only wants the best for you.”

  My insides were boiling with rage. I knew that Ryan had told my Dad too much, and without discussing it with me first. How could he? I knew he was trying to protect me, but giving me a heads up would have been greatly appreciated.

  “Dad… you know how Chelsea can be, completely overbearing, and, at times, inappropriate.” I stalled to gauge his reaction, which was as stoic as ever. “She and Jason are just opposites, in almost every way – he is pretty quiet, she can’t stop talking…” I stopped because my Dad hadn’t changed his expression in the least bit.

  “Cars, I just don’t want you compromising who you are, and pushing your friends by the way side for a guy. It should just come naturally.” He smiled meekly. “By the way, what exactly does Jason do? I hope it isn’t drugs or crime…” He stopped because for the first time, I was smiling at his line of questioning.

  “Well, it isn’t Jason, it’s his family. They are a big oil family back in Texas. He does some small work for his dad out here, while he goes to school to get his degree.” I paused, gauging his reaction, which didn’t change. “He doesn’t like to flaunt it, that’s why he wasn’t giving away too much.”

  He rubbed his hands over his face, kisses my head, and hugged me.

  “Cars, I don’t care if he was a garbage collector… as long as he treats my baby girl right, I will welcome him with open arms.” I knew he meant this by the genuine smile that spread across his face.

  “How much did Ryan tell you?” I asked -- my eyes full of anxiety.

  “Just what I told you. He wasn’t trying to rat you out or anything. He and Mila came by the house and they got to talking about your night out, and that’s what he told me. Don’t be mad at your brother -- thank him. He loves you Cars, and wants what’s best for you.”

  “How do you feel about Mila?” Seeing that this conversation had gotten so far into Jason, I tried, desperately, to change the subject. His weary eyes studied me, displaying the confusion he felt in the sudden change in conversation.

  “I don’t mind Mila… why?”

  “Just wondering, I was a little bothered by it…” and then I stopped, seeing my Dad’s shift in demeanor.

  “Bothered? Why?”

  “Well for starters, Mila is my friend and roommate, and Ryan is my brother, so if that doesn’t work out, it’s awkward on both ends for me.”

  “Go on.”

  “And, Mila is not easily tamed, so I don’t want Ryan to get thrown by the wayside.” I took a heavy sigh, and felt better because this had been on my mind since the day I saw them together.

  “Cars, I am going to tell you what I told Ryan as he spoke about Jason. You two are grown-ups, and while we only want what’s best for our loved ones, you have no room to meddle in their affairs. If Ryan needs you, he will come to you – if not, then stay out of it, and just be a silent protector.” He smiled at me, which I gladly reciprocated because only my dad could give advice that nourished the soul.

  “And anyway, how are you and Jason? Ryan said things got a little weird yesterday, so I just wanted to see if you were okay.” Damn Ryan!

  “The awkwardness came from Chelsea, but we’re good.” I couldn’t even say that with a straight face knowing deep inside, things were not good. He still hadn’t tried to communicate in the least bit, and I still wasn’t even sure if I should be talking about him.

  “Well, I just want you happy Cars. Don’t lose sight of your friends or who you are.”

  And, with that, we ate. The rest of the conversation was relatively light, ranging from classes, to softball, to baseball. I laughed more during the tail end of my conversation with my dad than I had in the past four days – and certainly within the past 24 hours.

  As we finished our lunch, my Dad slid me a bank receipt. He deposited $400 into my account. I really didn’t need the money, but he insisted, so I didn’t argue any further.

  I had a film session to get to so I left my dad, but not without first giving him a hug that undoubtedly poured out love and appreciation. I felt like the anxiety I had been feeling had gone away. I was in awe of the way he had the ability to do that to me, and had been able to do so my entire life.

  I turned the radio on in my car as I drove back to campus and sang as loud as I could to whatever came on. I was in a much better mood and was actually feeling like I could live again.

  <>

  I made it back to campus with just enough time to sit through an exceptionally long and tedious film session on Santa Barbara College. I made it through my one night class, and made my way back to my apartment. Mila was out with Ryan, and Chelsea was up in La Jolla for her mother’s birthday dinner. The moment she told me she was going home for the night, my mind immediately raced to Jason. I had done so well today not thinking about, or consuming myself with him, and yet, the second Chelsea mentioned home, my mind put two and two together and La Jolla and Jason came crashing back like a tidal wave. I asked her to check to see if he was home, and of course, being Chelsea, she said I didn’t even have to ask.

  My apartment was dark, but slightly lit by the plug-in warmers plugged conveniently throughout our space. Mila must have changed the scent because it no longer smelled of sweet jasmine, but instead like a cinnamon bun. I walked through the apartment, checking to make sure that no one was there, and when I saw that I was alone; I quickly undressed and rushed to the bathroom for a nice, hot, relaxing shower.

  I got out of the shower to a text message from Chelsea.

  from Chelsea

  *No signs of life here… not sure where your Southern gent is at this hour.*

  to Chelsea

  *I don’t know either…btw, please wish your mom a Happy Birthday from me.*

  from Chelsea

  *Will do… keep your head up Cara!*

  Sitting in my room towel drying my hair, I was back to wondering about the whereabouts of Jason. He wasn’t much of a partier – much more of a homebody, and yet, he wasn’t home on a s
chool night. I missed that sweet face, even when he couldn’t seem to fix it into a smile. I missed that sweet Southern drawl, and the way my name lingered on his tongue. I just missed everything about him, so I opened my laptop, and checked my Facebook to see if I had received a reply to the message I'd sent him. To my awaiting disappointment, there was no reply. I glanced down at the message from Jacob, and pondered if I should reach out to him or not. Without a second thought, I was zapped back into reality. Jason hated his brother, and the mere thought of me contacting him to ask for his whereabouts would set him off like a volcano. I felt myself reaching the point of desperation and just as I signed out and shut my laptop; there was a knock on my door.

  <>

  Looking through the peephole, I saw a studious looking Chase standing on the other side. I opened the door and was greeted with a warm, affectionate hug. It was just what I needed; a friend, to distract me from my mood. I welcomed Chase into the apartment, and quickly thought about how Jason would have flipped his shit had he known about this. Shaking my head, I entered back into the present and lead Chase over to the couch in the living room.

  “So how have you been Cara? I haven’t seen much of you, well, any of you for that matter.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry about that. I’m good, what about you?” I looked down, and I think based on the mutual affection passed off in my hug, and the expression written all over my face, Chase knew I wasn’t being completely honest.

  “Alright, spill it. What’s going on? You’re definitely not okay.”

  I looked at him, my eyes welling up with tears again, and I poured it all out to him.

  “Well, I had an incredible weekend, with a few hiccups along the way, but still very nice. Jason had dinner with me and my family, we toured his house, rode on his motorcycle, and I learned to drive stick…” I spared him the carnal details because I was sure he didn’t care to hear them, and it really wasn’t much of his business.